Be Genuine vs. Polite

I wish people would stop being polite and just be real!

This thought occurred to be while trying to fall asleep one night last week.

Do you really think about your reply back to the person who says to you, “Good morning, Jane!  How are you?”  I feel like most people reply with, “Good morning, Jack!  I am good, how are you?”  Because let’s face it, do you really dread what happens when someone says. “I am terrible, how are you?”  Instantly, you think great now I have to talk to them about something or at least listen for 10-15 minutes.

What would happen if we all began changing our approach to this seemingly ordinary exchange of words, in order to actually make impact on lives?  Maybe nothing.  But possibly the night before that person had a handful of pills waiting to take them, decided to wait one more day then you took time to care and give them part of yourself.  Ten minutes, huge impact.  Of course, this is worst case scenario but think about times you have been down like when my dog crossed the rainbow bridge.  I said these words, “I am great, how are you?”  I was not genuine, I did not mean an ounce of it.  I wanted someone to say, “I know you are not okay” and give me a hug.  But I did not want to be noticed or notice anything else going on around me.  I believe we all focus on ourselves too much and forget other people need a smile, kind word, pat on the back, high five, or hug.

So, I am challenging myself and all of you to be more genuine.  Let’s make impact on lives!  All lives!!!!!  All humans!!!!

My conversations are going to change to, “Good morning, Jack! How was your daughters recital?” Or “How is that project at your house going?”

People know when you are genuine, real, kind, and warm.  It is probably important to note, that a warm greeting from you heart will be received better than a quick reply similar to the one you just received at the coffee pot.




“Love Triangle”

This will be the first of many controversial posts. These are my stories, not yours. My takes on things I would do different now that I know how I was affected by these things.

Driving home from Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve, I heard the song “Love Triangle” by RaeLynn.  The lyrics are very powerful to a child who grew up in a divorced home. Holidays were always bittersweet. I only saw one of my parents. I never saw both on holidays. As a child it is difficult to understand.

If you are considering divorce and have kids please take my words to heart.

Do not ever speak badly about your ex to your children. Do not ever fight in front of your children. If you need to have a neutral zone to drop off the kids then do so. I was always dropped off with a grandparent and picked up by the other grandparents or parent. Kids are so smart and pick up on everything. The harm that these actions cause is insurmountable.

Remember this: At one point you loved your spouse enough to vow to spend your lives together through sickness and health….you made a child or children together. Respect each other and your children enough to let them figure things out for themselves. Do not use your children to hurt each other.

Your children will respect you more if you let them grow in their time. But wait until they are old enough to understand because even as a 38 year old….this shit is real and hard to understand. It hurts to the core. It causes pain you could never imagine. It also keeps them from being happy for years and not knowing why.

Behavior is very much learned. I was sent to a counselor, I was also quick to pick up on what she was doing. I never once told her the truth. I knew she was telling my Mom everything. Do you really think your child is going to tell anyone what is really wrong when both parents are using said child to hurt each other? Give your kids some credit. They hear more than you know. They see more than you think. They feel deeper and more honestly and lovingly than you. Children are still in their honest pure form until they start learning that life just simply is not easy.

I am certain I will update this post at some point. There is a lot I would like to add or change. I just keep feeling like there are things I am supposed to share for a reason. Not because I have demons or frustrations about things because I am healing through my studies as a counseling student and seeing a counselor as well.

For now…take care. Feel free to comment. I would be appreciative of any feedback.


It is already written, why change it?

Romans 12:12

— Read on savinggracesupportgroup.org/2018/06/26/romans-1212/

This is a tough pill to swallow here. Just hear me out. Read these words every day for a week. Then let’s talk about your thoughts.

I have been thinking over and over the same words from Matthew 5:44 and Romans 12:14. Bless those who persecute you. Suffer in silence. Faithfully pray. Rejoice in hope.

These are the words our nation needs now more than ever.

He always has the answers we need. We just need to merely listen.

“Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you life as your victor’s crown.”

‭‭Revelation‬ ‭2:10‬ ‭NIV‬‬

All for now,

Kat ❤

Say His Name

This is well written. I read it from my subscription to her ministry. As I searched, and scrolled each blog I subscribe to looking for this post I was overwhelmed by how many of the blogs I follow are discussing this very same day when George Floyd was murdered in an absolutely disgustingly evil way. In front of people begging for the cop to stop. Mr. Floyd and countless others begging for the cop to stop. Begging. It makes me so nauseous. Read this post. Pray.

George Floyd. Victim of the police brutality in Minneapolis, Minnesota this past Monday, after a cop kneeled on his neck. This disgusting …

Say His Name

Video Check-in?

How would y’all feel about a weekly check in video?

I am thinking something short and sweet with a how are we really doing this week with COVID-19?

Maybe you think more often would be better?! I’m ok with that, I just feel that I need a goal set on what I am doing to help you all.

Maybe, even if some sort of response happens I will set a really cool goal of something I am not comfortable with happening if followers reach 1k, 2.5k and 5k ?!

You Choose What “Different” Looks Like…

Today, I spent the day with one of my new bff’s. It is absolutely like we were made for each other. I picked her up around 7am after she had just gotten off work from a 12 hour shift. We (ok, I) drove two hours away to a continuing ed class for Play Therapy/Ethics. We do not have our licenses yet but we really wanted to go. It was one of the best decisions I have made so far since beginning my Masters.

As we sat at lunch with our new friends we talked and discussed. Listened. Each one of us said, “that’s why we do this” at least once. We all have a story. God has written our story way before we even knew what that meant. He listens and helps guide your story depending on the choices you make. Ultimately, it is up to us to choose happy.

It’s not all roses and sunshine. If the sky were always grey and we didn’t have coffee our outlook could feel cold. However, we are able to get up and make that hot water for tea or coffee and just live a minute at a time. Even if that minute is the hardest minute you have ever felt. It will get better and there is always hope in the morning.

I will do my best to get better at this writing thing. I’m learning how to fight my battles through hundreds of pages of papers I have written for school. (By the way, that song is great!) Michael W. Smith “Fight my battles”

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”

‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭5:10‬ ‭NIV‬‬


What RAPE really is.

The most frustrating things are out of our control.

You have to pray about it and move past the anger stage more times than you could ever imagine. I have been trying to write this post for months. I started this post in July. I just could not get my thoughts quite together in the right way. But now I’ve remembered that I survived the scariest thing that can happen to a human and I am left here to tell the story.

I am not naming any names so, what is wrong with talking about this. I’m sure several people have their opinions about why I shouldn’t. This is my story, not yours. I think if I help at least one person then it has served a purpose. I feel this is the best thing I can do. People need to step outside their box and comfort zone of life and look at what is happening in the current world we live in.

I received a call to go to the DAs office. They wanted to update me on the case. Here is what it came down too. They said we do not want to go to trial, we are thinking about pleaing him out because he is a first time offender. Ok, backup….a first time offender that is being charged with 5 sexual assaults. What?! That makes zero sense. So then they proceed to tell me this “well in this county jury’s do not see people hanging out at a house having a couple of drinks as rape.” Again, what?! I was walking out the door he came up from behind me, grabbed me by the wrists, turned me around, got aggressive and said I wasn’t #*@$!+% going anywhere. The lots of details I am leaving out for the sake of the case….if that’s even what we are still calling it. Victims get the short end of this stick. The ADA insists, we believe you but we don’t want to lose the case. Then they said this county only sees rape as a girl walking down the sidewalk with her bible in hand on her way to church, getting grabbed and raped in an alley or van as rape. “Beyond a reasonable doubt.” These words get on my nerves as much as “survivor” does. Has anyone actually put thought into why rape victims are called survivors? It’s because most don’t, but you won’t find statistics on that. You also won’t find statistics on rape victims that suicide.

Living in a constant fog. Planning out your day so you remember to eat or even shower, is not surviving. I want to make sure these victims are truly living again. Ok, getting off that soapbox before I make myself sick.

How do we change this era of thinking? How do we get the world to see how rape cases actually happen? How do we change the system?

Now back to me sitting in the office boiling over, “a jury won’t see this as rape.” Let me be really honest. I have nothing nice to say at this point. I told them they were not trying hard enough in a 3 page letter that I wrote the next day. This is our legal system. This is why at least 65% of rapes do not get reported. I believe this is why the suicide rate of rape victims is very high. Rapes are underreported. Convictions are difficult.

We are not all wired the same. Fortunately, I am strong and willing to go as far as I need until this gets a judgement. This is too difficult for most people and I understand. But hear my words and take them to heart. I am here for you and willing to help you. You are enough. You are strong too.


A couple weeks ago I had another almost meaningless meeting at the DAs office. We are set for trial soon. Whatever that means. He is only willing to plea to a misdemeanor. WTF, is that even an option….ok, get back on task. Trial. Yes, I understand the risks. I am 110% willing to take them. Right or wrong?! Guilty or not guilty?! It does NOT matter. God has complete control of this and just like my tattoo on my wrist says…. (See post Romans 12:12). I can do this. “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:12-19‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Insomnia is awful.

Did you know your body can survive over three weeks without food? But only three to four days without water.

However, Humans can only survive 11 days without sleep. The effects of sleep deprivation begin quickly with symptoms including: hallucinations, cognitive impairment, irritability, delusions, paranoia, and psychosis.

It is extremely important to speak to a Heath care professional if you have insomnia. I was not happy about taking medication for this problem but after several different changes we are on the right path. The path does change frequently though as you start healing and trying new methods so be prepared for that as well. I was never one to forget things and when I began not being able to answer simple questions, it startled me. I felt trapped in a body I did not know anymore. Why was this happening. The first focus was sleep. Meditation has been very helpful.

Then for those of us suffering from PTSD you have random symptoms that go away and just when you think you are healed you experience minor setbacks. Do not be discouraged. This is all normal. What exactly is “normal” anyway?! And do I want to be “it.”

Oh, then the nightmares that wake you up thinking something is about to grab you and you aren’t sure if you screamed or not. You don’t go back to sleep until an hour or two before work. Sometimes I just sleep with the lights on. I am sitting here thinking, “why do I get mad at the cat for yelling all night?” Maybe she is only mimicking me.

The first night I tried writing about insomnia, I wrote about a paragraph. I started at 10pm or so. I remember thinking to myself, you are going to need to do some serious editing on this one….then I woke up at 2am. Turned off the lights, put the tablet down and fell back asleep. Maybe I found a cure!

Erase and re-record

Hey Everyone!

I am sorry I have not been around much! I have been extremely busy with work and school. I am finally enjoying some time reading books for fun instead of text books! Yay! The past weeks a few things have occurred to me and I feel like everyone needs to hear these things! So I will share a couple stories with you.

Today, I was leaving a message for a customer and I could not get it together. So I erased it and re-recorded the message two times. Now wouldn’t it be great if life were like that. Yes, absolutely! But it is not. That is why we must have strong faith. He helps guide us to our goals. We all mess up. This is what life is about. Learning from our mistakes. What would we learn if we erased everything and started over every time something undesirable happened?!

I know without a doubt that going through trauma the past year has changed me 180%. I am not the same person, I see every day and opportunity as a gift. I have now been dubbed as having “complex trauma disorder.” This just means that when I experience waves of triggers or moments of anxiety that I may have a more difficult time finding the trigger, calming myself down and snapping out of it. I frequently stare off into space. I almost always do not realize what I am doing. I know it’s getting better and easier. I do not feel like I have complex trauma and honestly felt like I was over the hump. But here is the thing, trauma has a mind of its own and it absolutely sneaks up on you when you least expect it. It will knock you to your knees instantly, which is not necessary bad. Go ahead and meditate and pray while you are there. Inevitably a dog or cat will come get all up in the middle of your business and break your focus. But they are wonderful loving creatures that just want to love you.

I have also realized that even though there are always two sides to every story, no one gives a damn. Every person involved is selfish and thinks they are right. I know it is very difficult, but you must not lose sight of who you are or trying to become over this. You need to be you and the best version of yourself you know how to be. This is your life and you can not expect anyone else to understand it. I read a scripture that is very much real to me. Isaiah 59:4 I keep trying to remember that God has a reason for teaching me so much about evil in my short life, but I wonder why? What does this mean.

I have yet again, lost sight of my point. If you did not do something today you are proud of or finish the dishes, there is always tomorrow.

Pure Glory

The heavens are telling the glory of God; and the firmament proclaims His handiwork. Psalms 19:1


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