September 13, 2017 at about 7:30am I am trying to get settled in after the hospital. My phone dings with my verse of the day. I wasn’t really interested but I hadn’t slept in over 24 hours at this point so I read it. It was Romans 12:12.
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”
Romans 12:12 NIV
I read this a few times and then decided to just keep reading.
“Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.”
Romans 12:13-19 NIV
Whoa! He was listening to my cries for help and He put exactly what I needed right in front of me.
I studied this verse everyday for about a month. The one thing I could not wrap my head around is “why would we ever patiently suffer”. This made me angry at times. I do not want to feel like this. This is not fair. I did not deserve this and I did nothing wrong, why do I need to suffer through it.
I decided I would just stick with the highlights that gave me peace until I could come up with a better explanation. So I was definitely working on being hopeful and faithful in praying. Anytime one of my friends or loved ones was angry I would recite the whole thing to them. It became so much a part of my daily routine and how I was helping others cope with my situation that I decided I needed to read it everyday. Everyone in my life needed to read it everyday. I got the tattoo on my wrist upside down so everyone can read it unless I choose to wear a bracelet or my double wrapping Apple Watch band. It says “Romans 12:12-19”.
It wasn’t until a month ago that patiently suffering made so much sense to me. It was about my step-dad Dale passing away. This is most definitely what this is about. I am suffering a little at a time. Some days are hard and others are just ok. Everything reminds me of him and I wish he was here for his wisdom of how to handle this case. Dale always knew what to do. But I still have God and his infinite wisdom to guide me. I have to get it right. I need to remember I am not doing this alone.
And that is exactly the point of my blog and support group. We do not have to go through this alone. You do not have to accept your first therapist as what you are given. You have the right to choose who helps you through this. But you must get help from somewhere and I will do whatever it takes to help you find it. Just ask.
I am just an ordinary girl that has been through more than most people in my short life. I want to help others heal and overcome life's difficult moments by sharing mine. If I help one person then I have done my part.
My main goal is to help victims of Sexual Assault find Hope, Healing and Peace from the most difficult thing a person can ever go through. It is a long journey but we will do this together.
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